Timing is the key, not frequency

I am into my Day 16 (menstrual cycle). This whole cycle starting day 1 is causing so much stress and turmoil to me. I cannot imagine me going through IVF procedure in a few months time.

Since day 7, I had consultations with my Gynae and had been given dosages of Gonal-F, which I am supposed to inject myself on day 9 and day 11. I was also referred to the specialist at Fertility Woman Care (not the exact name) on Day 11. I tell you, that day was the worst ever trying to conceive for a baby.

I was supposed to prep my body for IUI, so I went through the vaginal scan and the doctor was frowning telling me that my body wasn’t reacting to the medicine as it should be so I have to pay another visit for the check-up on day 14. The look on his face, makes me feel terrible. He actually mentioned something like “not possible to get pregnant even with IVF”.
I was given extra dosage and instead of injecting myself with Gonal-F (video) once every 2 days, I had to do it everyday, on both sides of my ovaries. I felt infertile and useless. I cried in the restroom after the consultation and I thought I couldn’t be any better and wanted to take the day off, but I decided to just go back to office and work. You know, life goes on.

I took my injections everyday, starting to have symptoms on the Gonal-F. I didn’t have any good night sleep for the next 2 days, worrying on my next visit.

Today, I went down again. The scan shows my lining is good, but it seems like the egg had ruptured from the follicle, IUI not needed anymore since it bursts (read: tracking the eggs). I was told that as long as you had your sexual activities (i having it for the past few nights non-stop zzz zzz/shy), you had tried your best. That is the natural solution to IUI. Well, luckily hubby reminded me to take the ovulation kit if not, we might have skipped that CRUCIAL session. Then again, if I could haven gotten pregnant, I would have done so already. Not expecting too much from this but I guess, we are looking into getting treatment at the government hospital.

I’ll stop a few weeks before I go for any doc consultations. It is draining my energy slowly and I had no mood at work.

Most of my friends are pregnant and having kids, one by one. I had been trying to avoid all sorts of gatherings so that I will not get questions on when I am starting to have kids and blah blah blah. Especially a friend of mine who is blunt and simply say things like vomit. Never think one. I had prepared myself to know how to handle him without harming our friendship so well. Let’s just hope that day won’t come, because I really hate answering personal questions.

I thought of sharing this post so that people like you and me can find out real experiences undergoing all these procedures and the kind of emotions that anyone can face. I thought I am a very brave girl but I am only human. It is nice to read or find out that there are many sharing the experiences. Like today, my only thoughts on the Clinic was run by a well-known specialist in Singapore, that’s all. The turnover rate at the clinic today was high, so I reckon that the Specialist was a popular one. After doing “extra” work of research ( i should have done so long ago) then I found out on how to identify my ovulating period. You can identify by seeing an “egg-white” like discharge. This should be what most women are seeing. For me, I get extreme backaches at night and I put it at the back of my head thinking it is because my menses are coming in a few weeks. WRONG. LOOK OUT FOR THE SYMPTOMS!
And this is happening to me for the past few cycles. I should have known, I was given such a huge hint.

Btw, the 4 visits (1 from Gynae, 3 from Specialist) costs me approximately SGD$2200…
So… go natural!